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I just have to

I just have to

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Forward motion is bliss. Pulking along an Arctic plateau is not hard. There’s really not that much to it. I am not a particularly skilled individual, born with Arctic-ninja skills that allow me to enjoy and make progress in the Arctic. I wasn’t in the army nor was I born with parents who taught me how to make fire and survive in extreme environments, no. I was a normal child, yes with a little adventure spirit, but I was also pretty damn good at watching Disney films whilst enjoying fish fingers and ketchup. I loved Nintendo 64 as much as the next person.

The point I am trying to make in my not very well constructed paragraph is that it doesn’t take an extraordinary person to do extraordinary things. (Yes I know that’s a well-known quote used on motivational posters at the gym)

We are all capable of learning and our genetic material helps with that – human beings are very good at adapting. The modern person just doesn’t put his or her self in enough extraordinary situations. It’s easy to understand why. Too easy is it to go along with what life naturally throws at us. It is so much easier to stay in our known lives than to put everything up in the air and explore the complete unknown.

Thing is, once you’ve done it once, it’s hard to shrug off and make it the one story that you tell at dinner parties or the fun fact that you’re introduced with by a friend to a new acquaintance.

For me, adventure is an itch I will never scratch. I know that there will never be that one expedition or experience that I come back from and think ‘enough’. But I continue to do it knowing all too well that it will not fulfil all my needs.

I do have doubts before doing these things. I am heading off on my own the day after tomorrow for a rather spontaneous solo walk across the Picos mountains in Spain before joining the well trodden Camino walk to the coast.

I was just brushing my teeth, looking at myself in the mirror. I’d had a pleasant day here in London, the first pleasant day in a while. Why did I feel the need to go off and have weather and terrain battle me? Why leave my friends and house here in the city?

There was temptation and questioning for a brief moment but you see, I don’t have a choice. I have to go, to leave and be tested.

There may be a fear of the challenge that’s coming, hell even the possibility of failure, but it’s so much less scarier than staying here carrying on with an okay and comfortable lifestyle, knowing that I am not being put to my full potential or at least trying to reach it.

That’s just it; I think I want to know how far Lucy can go. This DOES NOT mean I want to keep going until something tragic happens, I mean I want to know that I’m taking advantage of this life and this World.

If it’s these situations that make me feel most like me, then surely I should be doing them often. Adventure is waiting so I better go and look for it then. (It's not that hard to find if you want it.)

First thoughts

First thoughts

I do wonder where the desire to punish my body, mind and soul comes from. I’m not saying this in a spiritual godly way. I’m not religious in any sense really. I am God, we are all our own Gods. We make our decisions. We control what we can in our lives. We push the boundaries, if we want to. I’ve wanted to push my boundaries for years now. Ever since the first one got pushed, perhaps that was when I was 14 and took off from my country home in Suffolk to do work experience in the Department of Commerce in Washington D.C. I said goodbye to my parents and flew off across the Atlantic on my own, well with a plane full of strangers. I was completely comfortable with the journey I was embarking on. Or maybe it was getting to the top of a 20 metre rope hanging from a tree as a child... An adventurous trigger can happen anytime.

Adventures are unique. They can be big or small to provide satisfaction. Personally, these adventures, especially the longer and/or challenging ones provide a perspective. It reminds us of something we should not forget but are all guilty of, how lucky we are. The danger I put myself into by stepping out the door to do these expeditions, is self-inflicted and therefore it is still a danger that I count myself lucky to have had the opportunity to experience, even if it has deadly risks.

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I only really get fully satisfied when I’m doing or planning something that tests me. This basically means that I’m always wanting to do something new, and therefore I have good practice at not being very good at things and then, these things eventually, after trial and error, become something I know how to control and manage and most of the time, enjoy.

Now all of this only goes for individual achievements, relationships are not something you can control, relationships/friendships have another person on the other side, also having input. I’ve learnt the hard way that relationships are not like individual goals and selfish achievements. They are totally apart and scare me even more so than all of my adventures put together. But that’s another story with an unknown ending eh?